id be glad to
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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