They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
