I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
