More tranny stories later!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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