i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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