Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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