But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
