it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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