that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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