they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
