I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
