Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize