Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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