I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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