I'm drive I can fine osifer
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There are leaves in my underwear?
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