I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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