i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
