So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
