she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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