her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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