I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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