Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
