I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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