Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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