I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We had to coat check the pizza.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
