mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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