i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
