No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just blew my weed a kiss
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
