Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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