Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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