How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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