the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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