don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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