she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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