I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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