im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
