can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
