I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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