yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
