If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
