We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I love you. Go after that dick
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
