Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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