BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
