I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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