WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
