Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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