would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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