my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
