if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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