scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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