Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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