As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
