Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
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