i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
