i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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