i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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