I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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