The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
