sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
