Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You ate ashes out of my bong
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
