I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i was born a porn star she said
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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